Yesterday was a great day, it was parents evening and as Felix and Solomon started this new school about six weeks ago, it was our first one there. Solomon’s appraisal was first with his teacher and 1-2-1 helper. We saw all the things he was doing and saw how they were integrating him into the class – it was so much more professional than his last school. We saw his work, his spelling and writing (two years ago when he was eight we wondered if he would ever be able to read or write). By the end of the appraisal I had tears in my eyes and could barely read his report. What they have done in six weeks is amazing. I am so happy and proud of him.
We walked out of there, composed ourselves and went to see Felix’s teacher. Felix is also doing brilliantly, he is mixing with his class well and has had ‘stat’ tests that show he has a reading age of a twelve and a half year old, was in the top group for maths, science, the only thing he seemed to be having a few issues with was writing. We left, got into the car and Jane and I was beaming with happiness that suddenly in those few minutes that just happened we felt like the most proud parents on Earth, bliss.
A very good treat was in order to mark such a bodacious occasion and it was agreed with Solomon and Felix that Pizza Hut would be the prize, with eat as much as you like ice cream.
After eating a round of pizzas and waiting for Laura (our waitress) to come along with the ice cream bowls Solomon decides that this is the perfect occasion to check everything ‘down there’ is in working order…
A go ‘Err Hum’, he looks at me and I say quietly ‘listen there’s nothing wrong with doing that in private, but when your outside and with other people it is not something we do’.
Felix starts laughing, and then in his usual loud voice says ‘You know Dad the male body is a beautiful thing’, suddenly Pizza Hut goes quiet, he then adds ‘The strong chest, the fine buttocks, and especially the penis.’
Yes this was funny… but no chainsaw came out of the ground to cut a hole around me. I sat there with people’s eyes like lasers burning into me, looks of amusement, disbelief and revulsion. All I could muster was ‘Yes Felix, it most certainly is a beautiful thing’. We all laughed and shook off the embarrassment, Laura arrived and the phallic focus evolved into ice-cream factory.
Thank goodness we have another two Pizza Huts to choose from. I believe he picked up the line from a play on the radio that I had been listening to in the car about two weeks ago, ‘they’ say children are a mirror of their parents – ‘they ‘ are wrong, I blame Radio Four!